Keep On Living
by dmaeq
Summary: Five years after the events of the movie, Jillian Holtzmann is no longer a Ghostbuster. A tragic event altered her life, but she chooses to live life differently and to the fullest. She ends up being torn between two women.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter I

Dr. Jillian Holtzmann was in her office preparing lectures for undergraduate engineering courses. The fall semester was about to start and she had been busy getting ready. She enjoyed teaching even thought it wasn't always easy. Though she still missed her life as a Ghostbuster. Four years earlier, a car accident during a vacation changed everything. Her neck was broken and she was a C4 quadriplegic meaning she was paralyzed from the shoulders down. Things were tough for her emotionally during the transition from Cedars-Sinai ICU to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta. She learned how to accept her severe disability and how to use various technological gadgets which she helped improve and she learned how to use a sip and puff wheelchair. The sip and puff wheelchair used a straw control system in which she sipped and puffed into the straw controls to move the chair. Her fellow Ghostbusters, friends, and fans lent her various forms of support. Two years earlier, she began teaching undergraduate engineering courses at Columbia. There were mixed feelings when she joined the faculty, but in time she won over students and colleagues with her humor and positive attitude. Academia became her new life and over time she had less contact with Erin Gilbert, Patty Tolan, and Abby Yates. She also used her intelligence and engineering knowledge to help design products for people with disabilities. They were continuing their Ghostbusting careers.

As Jillian finished up her first week lecture plans. She heard the sound of the front door to her three bedroom apartment open. She heard the voice of her live in girlfriend Jennifer Lynch greeting one of her caregivers. She smiled and then using the sip and puff controls wheeled herself into the living room. Jennifer was there in a black business suit, she was now deputy mayor of New York.

The tall brunette smiled and said, "Hello love, how was your day?"

Holtzmann smiled and said, "It was a bit boring trying to figure out my course lectures for the first week. I had some fun this morning talking with Rebecca Gorin over her new projects. I've been waiting all day to see your lovely face."

Jennifer smiled back and responded, "I ran into your old colleagues today. They got rid of some ghosts that were lingering in a basement at one of the NYPD precincts. They asked about you and I told them the usual. I was thinking that maybe we could invite them over for dinner sometime soon."

Holtzmann was both happy and sad to hear about the Ghostbusters. She still cared about them deeply, however, she no longer felt a part of that group since she couldn't go out into the field with them. Sometimes she enjoyed not seeing them a lot.

"Well, I guess a small dinner party wouldn't hurt as long we don't serve wantoon to Abby." Holtzmann said.

"I'll be meeting with them later this week. How about we invite them over for the Saturday night of Labor Day weekend?' Jennifer asked as she put her hand on Holtzmann's cheek.

"That will be fine." The blonde said.

Jennifer then went into the kitchen to get something to drink. Holtzmann closed her eyes for a moment and had brief flashbacks of the fun times she and her friends had fighting the paranormal. She then opened her eyes and glanced down towards her paralyzed body. Her arms and hands were placed in special arm rests. Her hands had a bit of waxy look due to the paralysis. Her feet rested on a specialized foot rest and seatbelt was across her waist for protection. Even though she did her best to be positive, a part of her hated that she was no longer an able bodied engineer and Ghostbuster.

Her brunette girlfriend returned to living room with glass of water with a straw. Holtzmann sipped from the glass for awhile. Then Jennifer sat gently on her lap, she felt lucky that after the accident, Jennifer stayed in the picture.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter II

Several hours later, Holtzmann was in her bed reading some files on her laptop which was placed on an overbed table. She had to sleep in a hospital bed with a special mattress that helped prevent bed sores. Next to the bed was the hoyer lift that was used to get her into bed from her wheelchair. Jennifer came into the bedroom with water in a glass and a paper cup that contained several medications Holtzmann had to take those before going to sleep each night. She held out her tongue as Jennifer placed each pill on her tongue and gave her water each time to swallow. The medication rotinue was followed by Jennifer brushing Holtzmann's teeth with an electric toothbrush. Then Jennifer did a final check of Holtzmann's catheter and she made sure the night diaper was secure. That part of the care process still embarrassed Holtzmann and she hated being so helpless there.

Jennifer said, "I know you like staying up on Friday nights reading to me. But, I had a long day at work, so I'm going to sleep now. Don't stay up too late Jillian."

"I'll try to go to sleep at midnight." Holtzmann teased.

The brunette then kissed her on the mouth and the climbed into her bed which was next to Holtzmann's. Holtzmann watched as Jennifer fell asleep. She then read on her laptop until she felt herself tiring. She used the voice commands to turn off the laptop and then used the specialized room system to turn off the lights in the room. She didn't fall asleep right away. She thought about various things, like the fall semester starting on Monday, Jennifer's projects as deputy mayor of the city, and then things about her past.

She thought back to the last ghost bust she and her old crew did.

 _The Ghostbusters were in a Italian pizzeria in Brookyln. They had been dispatched by the new owners who had been previously told that the pizzeria was haunted by the spirits of two young lovers who had been killed there in the 1950s. They didn't believe it, until they saw the ghosts. The crew managed to capture both ghosts. Abby and Patty were talking with the owners. While Holtzman and Erin were taking their gear back to the Ecto-1._

 _"Well, that was an easy capture today. We got them together and since they died together, they should remain together in containment." Holtzmann said._

 _"I admit that I'm jealous of the ghost lovers. They have each other. I hate my love life so much. Things didn't work out with Kevin and last week's blind date with that physics professor from NYU was a disaster. Ghosts have better love life than me." Erin whined._

 _"Oh, don't beat yourself up Erin. It's like that song You Can't Hurry Love. An intelligent woman like yourself shouldn't be hurrying for love." The blonde said, while getting into the driver's seat. Erin took the shotgun seat._

 _Erin put some of her hair behind her ear and said, "I know I shouldn't hurry anything. It would be nice to have to someone at home each night. A face and smile to see when I go in. It looks like you and Jennifer Lynch for the mayor's office are getting serious."_

 _"We have only been dating five months. Who knows if we will be together by the end of the summer?" Holtzmann said._

 _"You two are going away to the Hamptons so that should be a good sign."_

 _"The Hamptons was Jennifer's idea. I'll confess that I don't want to be around Jennifer's snotty family for the next week. But it's important for Jennifer."_

 _A few minutes later Abby and Patty climbed into the backseat and they headed to the firehouse. They went over the ghost bust and then each parted ways for the weekend. Patty and Erin were going to be on call for services. Abby was taking the weekend off to do some work on her apartment and that night Holtzmann and Jennifer drove to the Hamptons, but a few days later things changed drastically for Holtzmann._

Signs of morning crept into Holtzmann's bedroom. Sun was coming in through the cracks of the window blinds. She glanced towards Jennifer's bed and it was empty. Jennifer wasn't in the master bathroom. It was minutes later when Holtzmann heard Jennifer's voice talking into a phone. She could make out some of the conversation which was about City Hall and NYPD.

Then Jennifer came into the room, "Sweetheart, I have to head down to City Hall. Two NYPD officers were shot last night and I have to be there to issue out press statements. I know this puts a damper in our weekend. But, I'll make up to you tomorrow. We can go to Central Park for a picnic."

"It's ok Jennifer. You have a job to do for this city." Holtzmann replied thoughtfully.

"Ok. I called Quinn to come in and help you. Are you sure you will be ok?" Jennifer asked.

"I'll be fine."

Thirty minutes later, Jennifer was dressed up in another business suit. She cut some fruit and fed it to Holtzmann and then the caregiver Quinn Simmons arrived. Quinn was one of three caregivers who worked for Holtzmann. She was a graduate student studying neurosciences at Columbia. She took the caregiver job for Holtzmann because some of her studies involved spinal cord injury and Holtzmann being a spinal cord injury patient was happy to assist Quinn with various questions. Holtzmann had some hope that spinal cord injuries could possibly be cured someday.

Quinn happily greeted the couple and asked Jennifer if there were any specific instructions for the day. She was told it was going to be usual routine of getting Holtzmann showered and dressed and in her wheelchair. Jennifer kissed Holtzmann before heading out the door.

The morning rotinue started. Quinn got Holtzmann out of bed with the lift and into her shower chair. In the roll in shower, she bathed Holtzmann and then got her out. She dried her off and then dressed her in the bedroom and got her into the wheelchair.

Holtzmann and Quinn talked about various scienitific topics.

At lunch time, Quinn and Holtzmann were chatting and then Quinn said, "I ran into a fan of yours the other day."

"A fan?" Holtzmann questioned.

"One of my friend's daughters said she met you years ago at her school. You and the Ghosbusters got ghosts out that were frighetning the kids." Quinn said.

Holtzmann immeadiately remembered the incident. A Catholic elementary school was plagued with the ghosts of nuns. Some of the ghosts were quite harsh to the children. When the Ghostbusters captured the ghosts. The children of the school praised the crew. Holtzmann loved the questions and the attention of the children about how she designed the weapons that fought the ghosts.

She smiled at Quinn and said, "Oh, yes I remember that event. Those ghost nuns were hideous and I remember the smiles of relief on those kids' faces."

"Do you miss it?"

Holtzmann winced and said, "I do all the time. I miss having that kind of fun. The missing driving around the Ecto-1 and helping people getting rid of awful ghosts."

She looked at Quinn and said, "That was another life."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have mentioned anything."

"It's ok Quinn. Eventually ghostbusting would have ended later on when I go too old to be lugging around proton packs. Things are ok for me here. I get to teach and inspire many and I get to help you a bit with spinal cord injury research. I just need to focus on the positive things." Holtzmann said.

* * *

It was almost 7 pm when Jennifer arrived home. She paid Quinn in cash for staying with Jillian for the day. She brought home Chinese takeout and it was around 7:30 pm when she started to feed Holtzmann and herself dinner.

In between bites, Holtzmann told Jennifer about her day. Jennifer in turn told her about the chaos at City Hall dealing with various journalists and the NYPD chief. After they finished up dinner, there were planning to watch a movie and then Jennifer's phone rang. Again it was work and Jillian spent the next thirty minutes hearing Jennifer dealing with city government issues. Sometimes she hated that Jennifer's work interrupted their time together. There wasn't much she could do in the matter, her girlfriend's career had advanced and she had pride in her.

Jennifer finally got off the phone and said, "I'm sorry Jillian. I hate being an awful girlfriend."

"I've said it before. It's ok, it's your job and you do a damn good job as deputy mayor." Holtzmann said.

The brunette put her hand on the blonde's cheek and said, "Thank you for being so understanding. Like I said, tomorrow we will have a picnic in the park and I will try to make the day for just us two. No work. You are starting the fall semester on Monday and you deserve a day to relax."

* * *

The following day, Holtzmann and Jennifer were in Central Park. They were at a picnic table watching various interactions in the park and eating some of the food Jennifer prepared. It was halfway through lunch when Holtzmann heard a voice that said, "A rare sighting of former Ghostbuster Jillian Holtzmann".

She turned her chair and saw Erin Gilbert walking towards her. Erin's brown hair was tied in a ponytail. She wore jeans, sneakers, and a MIT t-shirt. It had been a year since Holtzmann last saw her.

"It's good to see you too Erin." Holtzmann replied.

Erin walked closer to the table. She saw the picnic basket and food on the table and said, "Was I interrupting a romantic event ?"

"Oh no it's ok. It's good to see you again Erin." Jennifer responded immediately.

"Likewise" Erin said.

Jennifer then motioned with her hand and said, "Why don't you join us? We have plenty of food."

"I don't want to intrude"

"It's fine Erin. You are one of Jillian's dearest friends." Jennifer said.

Holtzmann winked at Erin and said, "Come on, old buddy we can catch up."

Erin then took a seat at the table. Erin and Jillian chatted away about what was going on in their lives. Later on, Jennifer's phone rang.

Holtzmann looked towards and her said, "Is it work?"

Jennifer nodded and said, "I'm sorry about this."

"Don't worry." Holtzmann replied.

Jennifer got up from the table and walked away to talk on the phone to her colleague.

Holtzmann looked at Erin and said, "Some of the perks of being the girlfriend of the deputy mayor. Constant interruptions."

Erin said, "You don't seem too happy."

"I understand that she has a hectic job. I just wish sometimes things were at slower pace for her and me. I know that's selfish, it can get hard when you are trying to have a good time with your partner and she gets pulled away. I shouldn't really talk because when I was a Ghostbuster things were hectic and fast paced. Anyway, how are Abby and Patty doing?"

"We are all doing fine. We get calls almost daily and we do speaking gigs at paranormal conferences. People always ask us about you at those conferences."

Holtzmann arched her eyebrow and said, "Really?"

"Don't be silly. You were a Ghostbuster and your inventions have enormously aided paranormal research and hunting. Of course, people are still curious about Dr. Jillian Holtzmann. You should speak at some these events." Erin said.

"I'm not sure about speaking at huge conferences. That life is over for me. I don't want to deal with the looks of pity from people towards the former Ghostbuster." Holtzmann said looking down.

"Hey, don't put yourself down. People in the paranormal research world still love you and want you to be a part of that world." Erin said.

The blonde looked at Erin with a slight smile and said, "I know and I miss it. I'm trying to focus on new goals. Teaching and helping invent products for disabled people are my life now. Also, maybe at some point I will get brave enough to ask Jennifer to marry me."

Erin laughed and said, "You a married woman? That would be fun to see.

"We are pretty much living like a married couple. We eat breakfast together most mornings and if work doesn't get in our way we spend evenings together. It's just that I'm not sure if I want to take it to the next step. Maybe if Jennifer's career gets to a slower pace, I'll pop the question." Holtzmann said.

Erin smiled, but inside she was hurt. She had a crush on Holtzmann for a long time. But Holtzmann and Jennifer started dating and then the accident happened. For awhile, Erin wondered if Jennifer would leave Holtzmann and she felt guility for hoping that it would happen. But it never did. The couple moved in together after Holtzmann completed spinal cord injury rehab in Atlanta. Erin was jealous that Jennifer got to move in with the wacky blonde enigineer. Then in time, Holtzmann slowly drifted away from Erin, Abby, and Patty. The Ghostbusters figured that their former colleague needed to make a new life seperate from them. It hurt Erin that things turned out that way.

She continued chatting with Holtzmann before Jennifer returned to the table.

Erin said, "I better get going."

Holtzmann said, "You should come by and visit me at my office at Columbia. I'm teaching Mondays, Wednesdays, and Friday in the mornings."

"Sure. If we get some downtime at the firehouse, we'll go over." Erin said.

She then got close to Holtzmann and kissed her on the forehead. She really wished that she could kiss the blonde on the lips.

"It was good seeing you two." She said to the couple.

Jennifer replied, "Thank you for keeping Jillian company, while I was dealing with work business."

"It's no problem. It was good catching up with a friend." Erin said.

Holtzmann said, "Have a good Sunday evening Erin. Hopefully, ghosts won't interrupt that."

Erin say bye and then walked away. She glanced back at the couple and again was jealous as she saw Jennifer kissing Holtzmann on the lips.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter III

The next day Holtzmann was in her classroom at Columbia awaiting her first students of the new semester. She was with her assistants Olivia and Greg. Shortly before class started, the iPhone she kept on her desk rang. Using a long stylus held in her mouth she checked her phone and it was from Jennifer. The text message read, _"I hope you have a good first day of the semester. I'll be heading to your office later for lunch."_ She smiled at the text and had Olivia remove the long stylus from her mouth.

A few minutes later she started her introduction to the class.

"Welcome students to Introduction to Nuclear Engineering. I'm Dr. Jillian Holtzmann and yes I am the former Ghostbuster. Please don't let my severe disability startle any of you. Trust me, you will be glad that I can't raise my hand and point to any of you during class." Holtzmann said in a teasing manner.

There were some laughs from the students. She then proceeded to tell them about what the course would entail and her grading system. She lectured them on some basic introduction topics for the rest of the course. After class she met with the head of the engineering department and then went to her office with Olivia and Greg. She went over additional details for the Intro to Nuclear Engineering course.

Then it was noon when Jennifer arrived with sandwiches and soups from one of Holtzmann's favorite delis. Greg and Olivia left to each lunch on their own leaving the couple by themselves.

"How was the first class?" Jennifer asked as she unwrapped one of the sandwiches.

"It was kind of boring as usual going over the intro material. I didn't have any students afterwards ask me to a share a Ghostbuster story. I kind of liked that." Holtzmann said.

"Did seeing Erin Gilbert yesterday bring up pain for you?" Jennifer asked.

"In a way it did. I miss ghostbusting. Sometimes I like just living in the present with my current teaching job and you. The times when no one mentions Ghosbusting, it keeps I'm feeling positive on the present" Holtzmann said.

"Well, you always be my favorite Ghostbuster. I will never forget when you captured those ghosts that haunted my old apartment." The brunette said as she put her hand under Holtzmann's chin.

"It was my pleasure doing that and I remember how you crushing on me. At the time I thought that you were straight. I was happy when you asked me on a date." The blonde teased.

"I feared that coming out of the closet would ruin my career. But, when I took the bold step, Mayor Bradley and others supported me." Jennifer said.

Holtzmann then said, "I'm glad that you have all that support. I sometimes worry that I might be holding you back in your career."

"Why would you say that?"

Holtzmann looked down at her paralyzed hands and said, "I'm severely disabled and people might think that I'm on a burden on you."

"You're not a burden. We will work things out as they go. It's my job that I fear hurts us. " Jennifer said.

The couple chatted for awhile before Jennifer headed back to work. Holtzmann finished up lesson plans for her other classes and then was driven home by Olivia and when she arrived home one of the caregivers/housekeepers Tina mentioned that Erin had called and left a message. Holtzmann had her play the message in which Erin said that Patty and Abby wanted her join them at a presentation for the kids at the firehouse on Friday. She was a bit annoyed as the day she had told Erin she didn't want to speak much about her past as a Ghostbuster. She thought about the situation for awhile and then decided to go. She used her voice controlled phone system to call the firehouse. Patty answered and called her Holtzy which put a smile on the blonde's face. She said she would go to the presentation on Friday.


End file.
